I remember many, many years ago when I first stepped into the real working world, one of my many mentors said to me - keep things simple, in everything that you do, you need to know what it is, when you need to do it, how to do it and more importantly, why you do it. Understand the reasons, debate the rationale, accept and execute or if disagree, find an alternative and just do it. He would often tell me - cut the waffling, cut the what if's and know when something is a reason and not just an excuse. Simple? You would think so, wouldn't you?
Well, if things were that simple, we would have perfectly defined parameters of what is right and wrong that applies to everyone, everything and every situation. But do we really? Perhaps there are some of us who would like to think so or even believe we have such definitive views. However, how can what I think and what I believe be totally applicable to you? I as an individual, will have different way of framing the world as I see it. I may have motivations, aspirations, personal life experiences and social nurturing that shape my thinking and my actions. Hence, should I even assume, judge or perscribe what someone else should think or do?
The complexities of our own human nature, itself makes us an enigma to ourselves. It takes years and years of quiet contemplation, to strip away the different layers for what we are or what we think we are. How many of us even bother to contemplate? How many of us just pooh pooh the idea? Afterall, there's so much to do in life.. jobs.. careers..places to be... places to go.. people to see etc.. and the lists goes on. Perhaps, we live life at such surface level, we are no longer comfortable to sit quietly, to stop and really, really think about why we say certain things and why we do certain things. Perhaps, we are afraid by what we might find? We might find deep insecurities, self-perceived flaws and all sorts of fears, we just don't want to do anything about it because it's just too difficult. Easier to amble through life doing what we know. Hiding behind well-worned path.
So we seldom ask truly why or even if we do, we often find answers that suit our own original way of thinking. In most cases, we have already made up our minds about someone, something or a situation. The truth or any alternative view is not longer important to us. To acknowledge any other reasons would be to admit ignorance or to admit that we are wrong. Now, we surely cannot have that stamped on our fragile egos, can we? What others don't know about us, they cannot hurt us. As long as I hide my ignorance and inferiority, I am safe.
However, does that mean, we should project our personal demons onto others? Saying things we don't really mean? Or saying things with double entendre and then deny we meant to be nasty or inappropriate when confronted? Perhaps, most of the time, we don't even realise we are manipulating the thoughts and feelings of others because we are so disassociated with our personal thoughts and feelings. Then, we just label others as being super-sensitive?
Perhaps most tragic of all is, those of us who fall into the category of don't know what I don't know and don't care to understand. Asking why, just opens up a whole can of worms or is that pandora's box?
