As a woman, I could never understand man's perspectives and views on most sex related matters. I could never truly understand man's fascination with pornography. I could never truly understand man's ability to compartmentalise sex. A form of release, a means to some end. Then again, I am a woman.
So how should a woman feel when we are personified and objectified as a sexual object? Should we feel as sense of empowerment because we can provide such delirious gratification to another human being? Should we feel complimented because we could be adored and desired for our simple physical attributes? Or should we feel insulted for being judged and categorised as objects to lust after when there is a lot more to a woman than the breasts, the hips and the other curvy bits?
To feel a sense of empowerment is probably quite unhealthy and delusional as sex is then a pawn in a game of power and control. It is a short-lived game plan where there can only be two conclusions - either there is sexual intercourse and hence, at least one party is gratified or there isn't a sexual intercourse. Predictable at the very least. Regardless who is the seducer or the seduced, the power shifts and changes. Who utlimately comes out as being in control is all a matter of interpretation - one who comes out achieving his or her goal would have 'won'. Then again, who is to really know what each other really wanted from the start? It is a dangerous and deceitful game.
As to the issue of adoration, it would be dishonest to say that women do not enjoy the attention and the adoration of men. It is a great boost to the female ego. However, at what point and to what degree would a woman feel such attention a little uncomfortable? Perhaps, it is the complicated female psyche where we would loved to be adored but at the same time, we do not really want to be lusted after all of the time. Would we, as women be appalled if we could really see what goes through the minds of our male friends when a physically attractive woman walk on by? Or would we only be appalled if these same sexual thoughts were applied to someone other than ourselves by our significant others? Do we, women just have double standards, in the sense that we only want to be lusted after when it suits us?
So when would being lusted after suits us? When the attention is from someone we are probably attracted to? When we feel a need to be wanted to fill a void in our lives, a temporary 'escape' or reprieve from being alone? Some how using sex and lust as a bridge to 'feel' something. The peril lies in the fact that after the deed is achieved, we are none the better or the wiser.
So can we summise that perhaps, sex is not just about physical gratification? Could it be just an inescapable aspect of our lives that we are ashamed to admit it is the most vulnerable part of ourselves that we don't really have control over ? It motivates and inspires us to seek out what gives us ultimate pleasure and to escape from pain. It leads us to feel, to love and to hate in equal measures. It gives us the tool to manipulate and exploit in whichever way that suits us. We pay for it directly or indirectly, where sex is the underlying commodity.
However, as a woman, I believe we carry a inescapable burden when it comes to sex. We are either the goddess to be adored and to be had or we are the 'contemptuous, promiscious seductress' who are put on this earth to brandish sex as a valueable commodity to any willing and seemingly unknowing victims to get what we want.
I suppose that is some truth in that, all women can prostitute themselves, should we wish to and some of us doing it admirable to earn a living and to support their families. However, there are some of us who would not prostitutes ourselves because we have no need to.
So, it is not really all about sex, is it? It is the acceptance that there are certain things in life - such as the stirring in our groins which may be quite a challenge to ignore and to control. So is sex one's soothing balm for fractured and fragile egos or a poison because it exposes one as who we truly are?
If sex is my poison - I happily drink it as at least I am truthful to myself.
So how should a woman feel when we are personified and objectified as a sexual object? Should we feel as sense of empowerment because we can provide such delirious gratification to another human being? Should we feel complimented because we could be adored and desired for our simple physical attributes? Or should we feel insulted for being judged and categorised as objects to lust after when there is a lot more to a woman than the breasts, the hips and the other curvy bits?
To feel a sense of empowerment is probably quite unhealthy and delusional as sex is then a pawn in a game of power and control. It is a short-lived game plan where there can only be two conclusions - either there is sexual intercourse and hence, at least one party is gratified or there isn't a sexual intercourse. Predictable at the very least. Regardless who is the seducer or the seduced, the power shifts and changes. Who utlimately comes out as being in control is all a matter of interpretation - one who comes out achieving his or her goal would have 'won'. Then again, who is to really know what each other really wanted from the start? It is a dangerous and deceitful game.
As to the issue of adoration, it would be dishonest to say that women do not enjoy the attention and the adoration of men. It is a great boost to the female ego. However, at what point and to what degree would a woman feel such attention a little uncomfortable? Perhaps, it is the complicated female psyche where we would loved to be adored but at the same time, we do not really want to be lusted after all of the time. Would we, as women be appalled if we could really see what goes through the minds of our male friends when a physically attractive woman walk on by? Or would we only be appalled if these same sexual thoughts were applied to someone other than ourselves by our significant others? Do we, women just have double standards, in the sense that we only want to be lusted after when it suits us?
So when would being lusted after suits us? When the attention is from someone we are probably attracted to? When we feel a need to be wanted to fill a void in our lives, a temporary 'escape' or reprieve from being alone? Some how using sex and lust as a bridge to 'feel' something. The peril lies in the fact that after the deed is achieved, we are none the better or the wiser.
So can we summise that perhaps, sex is not just about physical gratification? Could it be just an inescapable aspect of our lives that we are ashamed to admit it is the most vulnerable part of ourselves that we don't really have control over ? It motivates and inspires us to seek out what gives us ultimate pleasure and to escape from pain. It leads us to feel, to love and to hate in equal measures. It gives us the tool to manipulate and exploit in whichever way that suits us. We pay for it directly or indirectly, where sex is the underlying commodity.
However, as a woman, I believe we carry a inescapable burden when it comes to sex. We are either the goddess to be adored and to be had or we are the 'contemptuous, promiscious seductress' who are put on this earth to brandish sex as a valueable commodity to any willing and seemingly unknowing victims to get what we want.
I suppose that is some truth in that, all women can prostitute themselves, should we wish to and some of us doing it admirable to earn a living and to support their families. However, there are some of us who would not prostitutes ourselves because we have no need to.
So, it is not really all about sex, is it? It is the acceptance that there are certain things in life - such as the stirring in our groins which may be quite a challenge to ignore and to control. So is sex one's soothing balm for fractured and fragile egos or a poison because it exposes one as who we truly are?
If sex is my poison - I happily drink it as at least I am truthful to myself.
