Did 'The Stones' get it right?

I can hear Mick Jagger going ' I can't get no satisfaction' ringing in my head. Was he right? Did the Rolling Stones somehow managed to summise our insatiable human nature? Don't we often wish for things we could have or wish we could be rid of things we no longer find useful or we got bored with? Some days, we wake up and feel that we rather be somewhere else or doing something other than what we must or what responsibilities dictate that we must do. Even when we are having a great time, we wish it would never end or wish someone else was with us or perhaps not with us.

The list goes on and on. Different day. Different scenario. Different relationships. Same old feeling. Same old wish for something bigger, better, quicker etc...How did we become like this? Has perhaps affluence or civilisation molded us to keep wanting more and more because all our basic needs to live is no longer an issue? How can we learn to be grateful for what we have and be content with outcomes in our lives from choices we have made or not made? Do we want to continue searching for the panacea that will free us from our , perhaps self-inflicted misery?

There was a report on the news recently about a police officer who in carrying out his duties, he was shot and completely lost his sight. All he had greeting him every morning when he wakes up is just darkness. Watching him tell his story and listening to him speak about how he refused to let his blindness cripple him for the rest of his life, I am filled with such shame. I am ashamed that I even waste my energy and time recounting and revisiting the injustices and trivialities of my life. Does it not just then put all the mundane, small irritants, daily stress we feel into perspective? What right have we to complain about our lives when a person such as this policeman, though he has lost his sight, chose to get on with his best that he can and not wallow in misery? I felt suitably chastised and rightly so.

Perhaps, we just need to stop doing and wanting things. We need to take the time to stop and think about what is really important to us. Savour the good moments. Truly acknowledge and accept personal responsibilities for choices we made or didn't have the courage to make. Stop ourselves from using phrases such as 'I had to do this because........ and therefore I did not have a choice...' It is too easy to attribute outcomes, consequences or situations of our lives to something else or someone else. Even in situations of life and death, we have the power to make a choice. It is whether the choices are right or wrong. It is whether we are willing to accept full responsibilities for our lives.

Perhaps, from time to time, we need to remember how and why we are where we are. It may mean revisiting reasons why we stay in our jobs or pursue certain ambitions. Are we still happy with those reasons? Have our motivations perhaps changed? Or are the trade-offs and sacrifices we have made still acceptable to us? In the same why, we perhaps need to remind ourselves of all the good things in our relationships with our families, spouses and friends or take courage to confront, address issues or even walk away.

As human, we cling and attach to what we are familiar with. Regardless how miserable we feel or angry or unhappy, we stay with what we know. We lock ourselves into a familiar modus operandi. Perhaps, we make excuses for ourselves that holds us back from embracing what we have - 'I have no time for this' or 'I can't do that' or 'This is simply just not me' or 'It's too far...too expensive' etc..etc.. The list of can't or won't is perhaps as long if not longer that the list of things we are not happy with or not satisfied with....

There is only one certainty in life.. and that is, one day we will all perish. We can chose to worry, fret, pout or be unhappy while our clock ticks on or we can learn to accept that life is not quite perfect but be grateful for who we are, what we have and find compassion for those who are none the wiser.

Satisfaction may not be insight..but at least we stop searching for it and start living. Maybe?

Blinded Then...Running Free Now

Isn't life a bit like an optical illusion image? What lies in front of us may not be what we can truly perceive. We see only what our minds allow us to see. We seemed momentarily blinded until something clicks in our minds or something or someone shows us a fresh viewpoint. Then everything slowly unravels and we land with a thud, grounded in truth. At least this is what seems me to, is how I discovered personal truths about my life. It is as if all the little unconnected, trivial and forgotten conversations, angst and experiences came together to form a picture of what had really been going on. Why had I not realised this before? What caused me to float through it all in oblivious ignorance? Would I have made different choices if I had been more aware? Questions I suppose I will never have answers to and in all honesty, probably is of no relevance now.

This realisation of some harsh truths about my life and specifically my experiences and relationships in recent years was not a welcome intrusion. In some way, that ignorance was bliss but a bliss which was destructive to me in the end. I would never have the satisfaction of confronting the perpetrators of these deceits and unmasking them for who they are. On balance, best to let these beasts lie where they are. Some unfinished business is best left unfinished even if on occasions, there are moments when certain memories and mental picture, troubles me. These intrusive thoughts do pass and I am certain eventually they will cease to be of any significance.

As much as I still feel the deep sense of anger and betrayal, I welcome these feelings now. These are feelings which give me the motivation to change. These are the feelings that remind me that I had the strength to walk away and disassociate myself from all that was destructive. As shallow as it may seem, the sweetest revenge is one of personal progress inspite of it all. It feels quite good, as it seems, I am running free now, literally and metaphorically.